How Long Does It Take To Get Over Infidelity in a Marriage

Yes just say it, your spouse has cheated on you, you’re wondering how long does it take to get over infidelity. When you find out that your spouse has been cheating on you that’s the most difficult part of having a relationship. It doesn’t matter whether you read their message or came to know of it through a call. What matters is that your partner has lost the trustworthy position they had in your opinion. The situation is even worse if you have been told about it by your partner and you have a conversation about it.

how long does it take to get over infidelity

However, you could never trust and love that person the way you used to ever again. You might be in a state of shock and don’t know what to do. The severity of the shock might be to such an extent that you can’t think of anything for some time. You feel deceived, betrayed, rejected, and insulted by your partner. You might even regret being with your partner in the first place. You feel to have spent your time with a wrong person who wasn’t worth the respect you gave him.


How long does it take to get over infidelity?

infidelity is not a defined situation. It varies from person to person and how they perceive it. Whether you consider emotional involvement, physical interaction, or online relationship infidelity, it should be clear to you and your partner about what infidelity is to you.


Causes of infidelity in marriage

Several reasons could have caused infidelity:

  • Lack of love.
  • Lack of care.
  • Lack of communication.
  • Mental issues like depression and anxiety.
  • Addiction to sex.
  • Addiction to drugs, gambling or pornography
  • Alcohol dependency.
  • The gap in the relationship that has increased over the years.


What should I do if my spouse is having an affair

The first thing that you have to do is not to lose your mind and don’t make any rash decision that you might regret later. Right now, you are in a state of shock and incapable of making any decision for your life.

You have to decide to move forward and how, you need time to recover from such an incident.

Everyone has different emotions and tolerance and it’s not certain how much time it would take to get over it. Meanwhile here are some things you can do. First you have to decide whether to give up or stay committed to your relationship if you don’t feel so bad about the situation. If you want to consider staying committed to the same person then both of you need to be on the same page and ready to forgive one another for all that’s done. If so then you can take these steps to save your marriage from falling apart.


 Ask yourself how you feel about your spouse is infidelity

Surely it won’t be a single feeling but a combination of feelings that you have which includes anger, betrayal, regret, shock, and insulted. You have to ask yourself what you feel the most, which feeling supersedes all others. What you have to do is subside that feeling if you are going to continue your current relationship.


Assess the situation more closely

In this step you need to find the cause of such a problem. Whether you misjudged your partner and it wasn’t as it seemed or it wasn’t a clear talk you had. You need to clear any ambiguity that might be there. If you want to fix your relationship you first need to be clear how it was damaged in the first place.


Convince your partner to resolve the issue by having a discussion

After some time, a few days, a week, or even a month whenever you feel ready to confront your spouse about his/her infidelity to remove any sort of misunderstanding you might have. Also, you should be prepared some questions to ask your unfaithful spouse to know more about the reasons he/she make the decision to cheat on you.


Be accountable

if you’re the one in an affair then you need to take full responsibility for your actions and end the affair immediately ask for your partner’s forgiveness. If the person with whom you have the affair happens to be your colleague, then limit your interaction to work or change the job.


Forgiving your partner

You have to forgive your partner from your heart if you want to continue with your relationship. If you want to recover from the situation you have to forget what was in the past and must tend to the future that lies ahead of you. Your partner can never get the position he or she had in your life again if you don’t let them. You have to tell your partner yourself that you forgive them and are willing to trust them once again. But that doesn’t mean you have to trust him/her completely, if they cheat once , your wife or husband can cheat again.


How long does it take to recover from infidelity?

you don’t have to be hard on yourself, take your time until you can truly forgive your partner for cheating on you. You have to convince yourself to put your faith in your partner once more.

Take your time to get over your feelings of anger and betrayal. You know how much time you need to get over your anger. You may have to reawaken the feelings of warmth and love for that person who lost them. Your relationship is not as how it once used to be but you are going to rebuild it from the beginning. Slowly you’ll forget what happened and life as you know it will continue on the right path.

Don’t block out your partner and reach out to them when they need you and let your partner reach out to you. Tell your family and friends about what happened, and ask for their support. You could also consider meeting a marriage counselor or a therapist who would guide you on how to rebuild trust for someone who has deceived you. They can guide you to follow their methodology and with a changed approach toward each other to take your relationship to a new level.


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Improve your communication with each other and try to share thoughts and feelings as much as you can. Without any interruptions let your partner freely express how he or she feels and how you feel and be honest about what you say to one another.

Here is an example of a couple who faced a situation like this. Conner a husband had been cheating on her wife, Jane, for some time. He one day realized how painful his actions were to his wife. He returned to her and asked for her forgiveness. Jane didn’t forgive him right away and wanted him to feel the same pain and betrayal that she felt all this time. While individual counseling sessions she realized that she was angry all the time and she wasn’t that kind of person and more of a loving person and what was stopping her from being happy once again was that she was angry at him all the time. She finally decided to forgive him for her own sake and took several assurances from him. They got through the situation and have a happy healthy relationship now.

You should start to strengthen your determination to stay committed to the relationship. Increase the social interaction with partner and slowly you’ll be in a position to forgive them. Forgiveness is the most difficult part after infidelity and the only way you two could be together again. If you don’t want to end the relationship then this is the only path you go down.

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