My Husband Had an Emotional Affair and I Can’t Get Over It
A husband having an emotional affair can be worse than a sexual liaison. If it is an emotional affair, it does not mean it is not cheating. Your spouse having an emotional affair can hurt you and it is a big deal.
The emotions one shares with someone are important and much better than just having sex once. Emotional connections can be strong and difficult to let go; this is why you should be concerned.
Do not believe anyone who says that an emotional affair is not as hurtful on the other person as a physical affair. The problem is that your husband has been sharing his feeling, emotions and other things that should only be discussed with you. If your husband has been breaking the vows and putting someone else before you than the special relationship you shared is at stake.
My Husband Had An Emotional Affair What Should I Do?
It is a fact that your husband has not been involved in having a physical relationship and this has kept you relaxed that at least he and you are not at risk of any STDs. This is a big relief but it is not the end of the story, he may be interested enough to move further.
If you catch your husband having an emotional affair with someone, it can put you in a difficult situation but there are a few things you can do to deal with it as best as you can.
The husband has sullied your emotions and crumpled your trust. It is easy for some people to forget a person who they once had a sexual affair with but it can be very difficult to move on when being involved in an emotional affair.
This puts you in a tough situation where you have to make more effort in reclaiming your relationship than someone whose husband has spent the night with a hooker.
At times, you might be imagining things your husband said to you and how he could have been able to say all of that to someone else. Physical and emotional affairs are both types of cheating but this one can break your trust more than the other one. You wonder how your husband discussed everything with someone that came today when you have been the one with him through every thick and thin.
You are the one, who is planning a life ahead with him and he just shattered everything to go discuss building that with another being. Here is what you need to do, to save your marriage and go back to loving each other again, just the way you both used to in the early days of marriage.
Is it Possible to Save the Marriage?
A marriage can be saved if both individuals want to make an effort in making it work. But remember, it takes two to make the marriage work. No matter how hard you try, you cannot do anything alone until your husband is ready to play a significant role.
Talk to your husband and determine if he is ready to help save your marriage if he is ready great but if he is not then you should be clear of what is coming next.
You know it’s always possible to save a marriage when you seek professional help before it’s too late. When things start getting out of your control, it’s time to make a move and let a professional help you. A lot of troubled married couples saved their marriage from the brink of divorce thanks to the Marriage Fitness program by Mort Fertel.
so the question is: does the Marriage Fitness program really work? to answer this question, I recommend you to read our in-depth review of this program.
Understand Where Did It Go Wrong
Most people do not go towards having an emotional relationship with someone until there have been problems in their marriage. If your husband inclined to have an emotional affair it is obvious that his wants and needs have been ignored. It is however not an excuse and your fault but no one wakes up one day ready to have an affair.
Your husband could have opened up to you and should have discussed matters but he did something which is wrong and unacceptable even if he did that unwantedly and got carried away. Understanding what is missing in your relationship can help you gain a better understanding of how you can make amendments and move ahead.
Share your Interests
If both of you have not been interested in each other and barely shared each other’s feelings, emotions and daily routine than it is crucial to build and strengthen such a sharing bond now. People often begin an emotional affair when they end sharing interests with their spouse. If you and your husband have not been spending some quality time together, you should work on it.
Over time married couples often start doing things separately and they don’t even realize until it has gone too far. It is a bad habit and if you are also one of those, then you need to change your priorities and should give your husband more time. It is easy for a marriage to fall apart when the significance of the other is slowly tarnished because the two are living their lives separately.
Be Who You Are
Remember to be yourself, you are perfect and amazing as the person you are and you should not try hard to be someone else. Do not let your husband’s emotional affair change you into a new person, he may give up on his emotional affair but you won’t be able to love the person you would become unwillingly which will be again unhealthy for the marriage. You are worthy of a happy marriage because your husband accepted you as you are and changing yourself will not last even if it can help overcome the temporary problems.
Ask Your Husband To Open up
You should not allow your husband to have an emotional affair. Make one thing clear that he cannot continue his marriage having an affair. Ask him to be open and share things, if something goes wrong, you should be the one ready to hear him out.
Acknowledge Your Faults
No one is perfect and neither are you. It does not mean that your husband should be allowed to cheat but there have been problems and you would have made mistakes that drove him away from you. Identifying what are your mistakes and shortcomings that have upset him can help.
You need to ask yourself the following questions:
- Am I emotionally distant?
- Am I judgmental?
It may not always be true that you have a fault that caused problems but improving the connection between you and your husband can distance him from the one he is having an affair with.
Do Not Talk to HER!
You and your husband should sort the problems yourself. Contacting the one he is emotionally having an affair with is not going to help or make you feel better at all. If the husband cannot let go of her then move on, it is too late and you deserve better.
Find Professional Help
If you and your husband cannot seem to go forward, you need professional help. Several marriages cannot survive on their own and need professional guidance to make the situation better. The counselor, group, life coach, or other professional, you find for help should be an expert at dealing with life problems. Wrong help can result in making the matters worse. You want to give it your best shot and probably the last shot if you want the marriage to survive there is no room for mistakes.
Look for someone who has survived and lived through an emotional affair nightmare. Learn from this person how they came out to the other side and strengthened the relationship.
You can get through this problem and your spouse can get over his emotional affair but you will both have to ensure honesty and commitment. Avoiding a problem is not a solution. An emotional affair doesn’t have to mean that your marriage is over.