My Husband Wants A Divorce What Should I Do To Change His Mind ?
You know it and you have been dodging it for a while. As harsh and bitter it may be, you have to come with the terms that your husband has given up on your marriage and wants a divorce. Because it’s only when you accept it, you can think of ways of saving your marriage.
You may be ready to do anything and everything to save your marriage, but you don’t know what that is. I agree that it is a very difficult and devastating situation, as making your husband change his mind altogether could prove to be difficult.
Now, your approach should not be to make him guilty to feel bad about divorcing you. Neither you should put your dignity or self-respect at stake just to make him stay. No. You can reclaim your relationship just like you used it to after any small fights.
It is still possible.
My Husband Wants A Divorce What Should I Do?
You don’t necessarily have to change anything all that is expected of you is to give a lot of time and energy and have lots of patience while dealing with such a situation.
Now, let us look at how you can make your husband forget about divorcing you all over and start seeing you as his sweetheart once again.
To begin, don’t forget your goals:
- You want your husband to be always by your side and not divorce you.
- And being able to do that without playing guilt card on him or presenting yourself as very much desperate
- Get back to the point where your relationship is safe and healthy again.
Read further to find out how to deal with the situation if your husband asks for a divorce.
When you reach the point where your husband is determined to get a divorce, this is a critical time to make the RIGHT move, ignoring or deciding to handle the situation by yourself will ruin your chances of getting your husband back to your loving arms.
Now the question is what is the right move and how to stop my husband from divorcing me and save my marriage, the right move that makes sense is to seek professional help.
There is a program called Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel, he’s not a marriage counselor he’s a world authority on the psychology of relationships, he helped thousands of troubled married couples throughout the world solve their marital problems no matter what the situation is, the program success rate is 90% which is pretty high compared to counseling and other programs.
For more detailed info, read our in-depth Marriage Fitness review
Keep Your Emotions in Check
It is very difficult to hear the love of your life saying he wants nothing to do with you anymore. You are right to go into a short depression mood and experience many mood swings.
You could either be angry, anxious, or sad at the same time. Take some alone time to calculate yourself and then reach your husband with a calm attitude.
Let Everything You Are Feeling Out in a Good Way
For instance, you can exercise to freshen up your mind as well as relax your muscles so that you are more calm and collected. Whatever the reason was that made your husband come to this conclusion, your calm attitude about handling it can make your husband can come up as a good surprise for your husband.
Depending on the issues that led to this point, not acting on your initial emotions may surprise your husband in a good way. And with a vision to save your marriage, your basic goal is always to achieve happiness in the marriage, and not initiate more negative feelings.
Keep The Problem Just Between You and Your Husband
It is understandable if you want to spill it out to your family or friend for some advice or simply to lighten the burden on your heart, but trust me, if you want things to go back to normal as nothing happened, it is better to not involve anyone into this. Because let us just face it, they like or dislike him because of you feel about him, so if they find out he wants a divorce from you it is very likely to make them feel negative about your husband, which is so not what you want once things get back to normal.
Remember, divorce can be easily stopped if it involves only two people.
Give Your Husband Some Healthy Distance
Giving space and distancing yourself to just a small extent is very important in a relationship. Don’t hoard him everywhere he goes just to make him feel that you love him. Give him some alone time and space so that he can understand the signals coming from his heart and mind. He needs to feel that he wants to be with you and not decide it based on some guilt or enforcement.
Don’t wholly separate yourself from him, like leaving your house or something. But it would be a good idea to leave him alone at night so that he can miss your presence. In the meanwhile, you can work on yourself and see where you can improve to save your marriage.
Stay Open and Reachable To Your Husband
Make sure you don’t further create barriers to learning he wants to divorce you. Stay open and reachable so that there is no communication gap. Create opportunities to talk instead of telling him to sit and talk, which may cause him to get hesitant and unsure of how to face you. What you can do to make him sit for a long time so that both of you have the opportunity to talk is by making his favorite food and inviting him over.
You may try to make him remember the good old times by saying, “Remember the first time I cooked this for you…?” Chances are there is some great romantic story to reminisce over now.
Reminiscing is a good way to remember all good that has happened in the relationship and maybe make him feel that he wants to experience that again.
You two were once madly in love and that’s why you ended up marrying, try to bring bits and pieces of that love again by showing small gestures. Try to bring him back by your loving words so that he feels that he wants to stay with you and not leave you.
Don’t bring the topic of divorce in. Simply try to connect with him and enjoy your meal laughing, talking, and eating.
Imagine that this is your fresh start. Be more kind and charming like you used it to be in the beginning. Series of times spent like this is likely going to make him rethink divorce.
Take the opposite approach
Remember it’s in human nature to make mistakes. You did and probably your husband did it as well. For the time being try focusing on just your behavior as right now, it’s not the time to tell your husband to improve as a person.
Try to list those things out which pushed your husband so far away. Present yourself as a lady who is independent, less demanding, and someone who handles the situation very calmly.
Many women out there trying to hold back the divorce, what they don’t understand is that just making empty promises is not going to take them anywhere, instead, they have to prove it with their actions. Although you can’t guarantee him anything, a positive change and you trying could be enough for him to give it another chance.
Apologizing for your wrongs could also be a good idea. But remember that he is your husband and knows you very well. Therefore, don’t make empty promises or exaggerating statements which both of you Just make it obvious that you have learned from your past experiences and mistakes and do not plan to repeat them.
Make Him Happy and Satisfied
Fulfillment is a necessary element in a marriage. If you are not able to fulfill your husband on any bases, he is not wrong to demand a divorce.
Try to look at things from the perspective of your husband. Are you two fulfilling each other on all the grounds or are just going through the daily activities of married life without satisfying each other? If any think of ways you can fulfill the need of your husbands so that he is happy and satisfied. It’s time to reassess your love language and gestures and evaluate whether your approach has been successful or you need to modify it.
The advice above can help you in these three situations:
- My husband wants to leave me what should I do?
- My husband says he wants a divorce but says he loves me?
- My husband wants a divorce what are my rights?
If there is love, there is always hope! Just try to bring him back without being desperate or appearing as very needy.
Also, do not expect results within a day or two. Approach him slowly and make progress gradually, remembering to stay and focused on reaching your goal.
Have you enjoyed reading this article? Was it able to answer your question, “my husband wants a divorce what should I do? “If it did and you have something to say about it, leave a comment below.