How Do I Know If My Marriage Is Over – Signs Your marriage is Failing
People marry to live with their spouse forever. They accept each other as their life-long companions but things take a different turn when things get out of hand and life does not go as expected.
What you plan to have and do after marriage may not be the only outcome. The expectations may collapse and what you desired and had may fade away. Because you love the other person, you try as hard as you can to make the relationship work but things keep falling apart despite all efforts.
Only you can tell, if your marriage is falling apart. There are a few signs that can tell if your marriage is over. Here you will know the common signs that mean your marriage is over and what you can and should do about them.
Signs My Marriage Is Over
Look out for these signs to know if your marriage is actually over.
1. Too much Negativity
If all of your interactions with your spouse are negative, vindictive, and impolite then it means that positive interactions scarcely occur. It means that the two of you are often involved in arguments and quarrels.
This can build up piles of bitterness and hatred for each other to a point that the marriage would break.
2. Infidelity seems Never-ending
Cheating on your spouse is unacceptable, though it can be forgiven once or twice. If it has happened more than that then the one who is at mistake should apologize. If the spouse fails to apologize and keeps doing it, your marriage vows need to be taken again. If the one erring is not even remorseful and continues his actions, then it is a clear sign that the marriage is over.
3. Physical Intimacy Ended
It is not all about sex. Love is about small gestures and care, anything that depicts love and commitment. Physical touch such as holding hands, hugs or cuddles and kisses are also intimate. These physical connections communicate at a deep level and affect emotionally. It keeps the two connected and when it ends, it can tell something seriously bad about your marriage.
Another bad sign is when one desires to have intimacy or sex but the other one keeps on rejecting. Such incidents can severely affect the self-esteem of the one who is denied multiple times. We have an article if you’re looking for ways to fix a sexless marriage.
4. You Do Not Share Anything
If the two of you are not sharing your ideas, feeling and what you did the whole day with each other, every day then it means that love is not there. It simply means that you do not consider the other worthy of knowing what is going on in your life.
Communication can help you get rid of stress and strengthen the relationship as you gain support from him/her. If one of you denies to talk about emotions and hear from you, then it is a clear sign that you are going to split.
5. You Lose Interest in Each Other
Something is going seriously wrong in your marriage if none of you makes the effort to share anything. But if both of you, don’t care about each other either then it is indicative that the marriage is over and you do not have interest in what the other person does or feels. Communication and care are imperative for keeping the bond alive, it withers with lack of interest.
6. Addiction to Drugs or Alcohol can End Marriage
If one of the partners is addicted to drugs or alcohol than it can be almost impossible to make the marriage work. If this addiction is severe and the spouse is not ready to change or accept help then the survival of the marriage becomes extremely difficult. Violence may enter and insults or physical violence can do irreparable damage to the marriage.
7. Hiding Things
If your husband is hiding things like he likes someone else or is homosexual, then it is better to let go of the marriage. You cannot keep him in relationship that is not going to work at all. All you can do is listen to your heart and do what is right for both. It takes bravery to let go of someone you love dearly but when there is no other option, it is okay to do so.
8. You Feel Better if Your Spouse is Not Around
If you feel peaceful and relaxed when your spouse is not around then it is a clear sign, you don’t like the person to be around you anymore. Also, if you feel relieved and consider, how great your life is going to be without your spouse then it reaffirms that it is okay to end the marriage.
9. Changes In Your Financial Habits
When two people are in a healthy relationship, they decide everything including the expenses and usage of money. In case the financial habits of the other has changes and is treating your money irresponsibly and their own money carefully then maybe it is the beginning of an end.
If the spouse keeps withdrawing money from your account and does that in secrecy and barely gives you any of his earning than there is dishonesty in the relationship and it can eat up a relation very quickly.
10. Your Spouse Doesn’t Spend Quality Time With You
Although, it is not for sure the reason it can be. If the significant other, is burdened with work and spends time on screen than it could be to avoid you. People often tart overworking to save themselves from the arguments and invest their time and energy in something productive.
Your spouse can also be complaining that deadlines are approaching, workdays are hectic or stays away for work for longer than before than it can may or may not mean that they are creating a distance. You need to discuss, why is this actually happening.
11. Your Spouse Wants Out
One of you may want to leave or end the marriage, if they have made their mind, there is nothing much, left to be done. If you find yourself trying a therapy, sorting out issues, and even does something above and beyond but the other keeps ignoring and walking away then there is certainly hopelessness. It always takes two to make a quarrel and two to fix it. It is never too late if you want to make things better, show the other how gravely you desire that.
12. Counseling Becomes Useless
You and your partner have been involved in too many counseling sessions and nothing seems to be working. The relationship has gone through so much that some things have become irreparable. If you have tried couples therapy, reconciliation and have lived together to see an improvement that maybe something works but nothing seems to, then only parting ways can save you.
let me tell one secret marriage counselors won’t tell you, marriage counseling success rate is very low, and it costs a lot of money. Actually, there is something way better than marriage counseling and its success rate is very high, what about 90%?
Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel is one of the best marriage-saving programs on the internet, his program was featured on Fox, NBC, The NewYork Time and other well-established websites and magazines, it’s very famous.
Not all the signs should be true in your case, and there may be room for love to grow and marriage to become healthy again. But if your marriage has been through a lot and there is no hope left and both of you or one of you has given up, then you should ask yourself some questions. Additionally, if you have become or have been a victim of violence then it is time to raise the red flag and end the marriage for better.
Questions You Need To Ask Yourself
If your marriage is full of problems, ask yourself the following questions:
- Have you been indifferent to your spouse?
- Is your spouse indifferent or harsh towards you?
- Are you two Intimate?
- Is there any hope for the survival of the marriage?
- Do you dislike him and he dislikes you most of the time?
- Has your spouse cheated on you, is he/she has some sort of an addiction like watching porn or abuse involved?
Only if the answer is YES to most of the above-mentioned questions, you should quit. If not, there is hope and a chance for making things better.
What To Do Before Ending a Marriage?
To make the circumstances as smooth as possible, take the following measures:
Reduce stress and tension among the both of you, as much as possible. Spend time with friends and family and go stay with them for a while too. This can help you feel stable and ready to make bigger decisions and face the consequences.
Plan ahead and think of what you are going to do next. Planning will give you a purpose in life and more control of your life. You need to rebuild financial status and find the necessary resources to survive, job, or education according to your needs. If you require time to make decisions, plan a weekend away from usual and think about how you are going to deal with everything.
With a violent spouse, you need to stay away and safe if possible when communicating your plans and calling it quits. Seek professional help and take the necessary actions and come out of the relationship, prolonging can make it worse. Professionals can help you through the paperwork and the process of divorce.
How To Move on After The Divorce?
If you are certain about your actions then you should be unstoppable. After the divorce, you should move on but it can be difficult so you need to try the following.
Think of your marriage as a short-lived relationship that worked for a time and then ended. You learned from the experience and have grown and gained a lot from it. These experiences can prepare you for future relationships.
Do not numb or block the pain; acknowledge your emotions and feel the pain, sorrow, regret, antipathy, anger, or whatever bothers you. Mourn and move one. It will not make you weak but will give you the courage to address the problems you have been putting off for a long time.
Monitor your emotions: If your emotions keep affecting your health and the situation keeps getting worse, see a psychological counselor. Avoiding your feeling and shutting them out is not going to help, feel them, and learn to live with it.
Do Positive things; Stay in touch with your friends and stay social. Seek out emotional help from your friends once you want to move on. Be more active and join clubs, social groups or get hobbies that will support you in your struggle against remorse or anger. Indulge in recreational activities and do not let go of any opportunity, you find at doing something that will make you better.
Divorce is the beginning of an end; it should not be the only option but it certainly is the last option when all hope dies eventually.