My Wife Wants A Divorce How Do I Change Her Mind?
Two people who were completely stranger to each other for years have now spent many years waking up to each other, all because of a beautiful tradition named marriage.
But is it the same between you two like in the beginning?
When you spent your evenings in her lap or is it like something before you met. The strange feeling that you get from a stranger because both of you are in the pursuit of different destinations yet still you stand together with the knowledge that this union won’t last long. Do you feel lost when you think of having a connection with the person you share your bed with?
Despite it being a hopeless endeavor, you hope for the better times.
But one day when you are trying to comprehend what she just said to you, you try harder but still can’t digest that “D” word she uttered to you, It makes you go numb by thinking of the things that are yet to come, you become more numb when you get the point that still you aren’t the one who is a victim. The storm of self-depreciation shakes you to your core.
The war of words and question that these things evoke in you, make you think of the weirdest questions you ever asked yourself, like…
Do I even know this woman? For what thing am I getting punished for? Is my sincerity not enough? Have I ever thought of having a divorce? Will I get through it?
Avoid These Things When Your Wife Wants A Divorce
When this type of situation happens to you, it’s better to acknowledge these points as it can lead to the eluding of this harsh thing called Divorce.
- Do not ever ignore her question by assuming it’s that time of the month or it’s just one of her mood swings.
- Do not think of it as a phase that will get over on its own and have a happy ending without you being actively involved in it to solve.
- Avoid behaving like an antagonistic, uncooperative, opposed, or disruptive person.
- Do not ever blackmail her that you will take kids and the scooby (the pet) and that you will make her despair alone in the streets.
- Do not play the victim rather make it a mutual problem.
- Respect her space, when she wants to have somethings sorted out in her mind, let her.
- Do not intimidate her by being suicidal or making her agree to your terms by being emotional.
- As it is an emotional problem don’t try to win her over by material things.
- Be a man and sort it out by talking to her rather being enclosed and making other people talk to her on your behalf.
- Keep the manipulation away from yourself and from her as much you can, if children are involved, don’t use them as your tactics to score.
My Wife Wants a Divorce What Should I Do?
It is normal to feel negative emotions of fear, helplessness, and foreboding raging in you when your wife wants a divorce but some practices can be done which will have a positive outcome at this whole negative process.
Some things that always should be kept in one’s mind facing this situation are, to be at peace both in mind and soul, to sound like someone who doesn’t speak what others don’t want to listen, to see the truth but don’t have to force the truth, to disguise love and care with the respect as only the respect is the least he can possess in this harsh time and make wise decisions of not being rude or impulsive so that he can envision the seriousness of this severance.
The wise one will for sure think of his off-spring. The innocent beings getting mutilated in this endeavor of passionate beings are the top priority as they shouldn’t get more hurt than they already have.
It should be very clear to him that this is the type of matter where people get damaged emotionally and aren’t able to recover from it, so it demands a good extent of care. Keeping things to yourself instead of bashing it out on her, no matter how bad you want to.
Beloved ones include the figure you always look up to, it doesn’t matter you are related or not, the thing that does matter if they listen to you or not. Religious personalities, moral help institutions, and anyone who can help you to resolve or dissolve this matter.
1ST Option: Give Her What She Wants
If there is an agreement between you and your spouse about moving on with the divorce, you must have a plan ready to execute.
Firstly, acknowledge your legal rights in respect of property, custody, and safeguarding assets.
Find a legal representative as it is really important for making a good image at legal proceedings.
For example, If you have an intolerant lawyer who is “compassionless”, you are driving yourself to the opposite of a reasonable divorce.
Books will be a great help for being prepared for what is about to happen, also there is an enormous amount of content available on the internet in the form of articles, blogs, etc.
Financial resources should also be jam-packed with the tax resources, so your lawyer can help you get the right amount of assets in the asset division process.
You should acknowledge your rights of custody of children, visitation, parenting, and responsibilities too.
Also, be concerned about the change that will happen in your social image, the friends in common you both have will also be a part of a debate in a legal proceeding.
If you aren’t sure about lawyers, there is a type of divorce named No-Fault for this type of situation, you both can easily work your way out in this divorce.
There are several options, you should know about every each of them and choose the best one for you.
2nd Option: Try To Save Your Marriage
Many couples get through this hard phase by simply talking to each other. If you think that’s the case with both of you, approach your wife and ask her to halt proceedings and rather talk it out with you or convince her to have a therapy session with you from a professional counselor.
If she agrees with you, it will lead both of you to a new state of understanding each other rather then reflecting. There both of you can see through your better half without judgment and hard feelings. You will see comprehend how to tackle problems rather than ignoring them.
This all can only be done if you and your wife are mentally prepared for it if either one of you is not in that state no matter how hard your counselor will try both of you will leave without even changing a thing between each other.
In the other scenario, if both of you have consulted a marriage counselor before and your wife insists that it will be a waste of time, try to tell her that if you aren’t cured by a doctor’s medicine, you don’t stop finding a better doctor. Make her have faith in finding hope and making things better.
Also, try to work on yourself. We all have our flaws, indeed we need to be accepted by our partners as we are but this shouldn’t be made a compromising situation for our spouse, the will of being a better version of yourself every day should be alive. Self-Awareness plays an important role in acknowledging our responsibilities and wants.
It’s not only about marriage, but it’s also about our relationship with the soul within, attending therapy sessions will make you kind and aware of yourself which will lead you to a peaceful life, either you choose it with your spouse or without.
You know you can save your marriage even if you’re the only one is trying, yes you can bring your marriage back on track without getting your wife involved in the process and let me tell you how to do that.
When things get messy and you don’t know what to do, it’s better to seek professional help and I’m not talking about marriage counseling here. Mort Fertel is a world authority on the psychology of relationships and has an international reputation for saving marriages, his Marriage Fitness program is by far the best marriage-saving programs and marriage counseling alternative.
Read our Marriage Fitness Review, we have covered every single detail about the program and start working on marriage now.
3rd Option: Delaying and Resisting the Proceeding
This way is mostly not recommended as it can result in more problems but with the will of doing good, it can also be a good alternative.
There is a huge misconception which is found nowadays that spouses can easily deny and resist the divorce if they don’t want it.
On the other hand, in reality, if either one of the parties wants a divorce it will happen inevitably to both parties.
Divorce can be one-sided and doesn’t require a mutual decision.
Also if a spouse wants to delay or lengthen the process of the divorce, it can be done. But keep in mind that it will only be extended to some extent.
Not only lawyer but you can also have a debate on any of your concerns regarding arrangements of custody, support of spousal or assets division.
With the Pros of this tactic also comes the cons that it will result in an enormous amount of handout for your legal consultant.
It depends on you if you think of having the extra time or delaying process make sure you count the emotional and financial drainage too, Eventually these two things will also be a part of this process.
My Wife Wants A Divorce But I Don’t What Can I Do?
It often happens when a husband tries to make things work, the wife insists to have the legal proceedings as soon as possible.
Try to have a conversation with her, but make sure you are listening more than talking.
Try to find the main reason which is the cause of the divorce and try to resolve that problem.
Be very passive in agreeing to your side of faults and make sure you let her emotions flow and come out, so she can be at peace internally.
Be apologetic for your past doings and also accept the fact that your inaction to many incidents led to this.
Always be aware of it that you have to show what you believe by doing. Let her know that a change has happened.
Keep your wife updated with your intentions you have to make this relationship better. Intentions like taking good care of children, giving her and family more time than a job, and where you will be having the counseling to be a better version of yourself.
Be confident about what you have promised to her, make sure you don’t break the promise.
Stay committed even to the minor of the changes you promised her.
Try to re-create the past beautiful moments you both had, ask her out on a date, and make her realize how special she is for you.
Make her remember why she chooses you to be her life partner by doing grand gestures.
Assure her that the man she loved is still there to make her days, evenings, nights, and darkest of times better and beautiful.
When your best of the actions fail to make her not want a Divorce. You should respect her choice and clear the way for her to keep this thing in your mind that both of you can agree to disagree.
My Wife Wants A Divorce How Do I Change Her Mind
Now when your wife is sure about the fact that she doesn’t love you because she has an enormous amount of reasons for it.
On the other hand, even if you think that’s not the case, you have to respect her perspective and stance.
Regarding showing her that love still exists between both of you, you may disagree to her point too.
Become the younger version of yourself which she adored once.
If you want to change her mind about Divorce, you have to change yourself.
Listen to the concerns she has, accept your roles, and be the best version of yourself.
Always be the loudest clap of her performance. Support her in every manner you can.
This is a journey for you to meet again the woman you loved. Keep your spirits up and put in the work and it will be the best of the endeavors you ever had as the prize is priceless.
How To Respond To the Wife Who Wants a Divorce
Whenever you are discussing divorce make sure you use appropriate words and avoid using words that can hurt her not even a little.
Because her brain will confirm that Divorcing you is the perfect decision.
At this point exhibit the most sensitive side of yours, try to convince her by agreeing to the problems she said you both have. Try to see through her and project the positive image of yours she has in her mind. Make her believe that she will see the changes she wants in you. Keep your words kind and generous but make your actions remarkable.
Stay true to yourself and her, let her acknowledge all the emotions you have within. Even if it is a fail attempt, You will always be happy for the effort you put in to save your marriage. Indeed, it will bring you peace.
My Wife Wants A Divorce But Won’t File
When the wife needs a divorce but she ain’t filing it, it’s the best time to have a deep discussion about it!
Ask her different questions like what is stopping her? Does she want a Divorce? or is she afraid of the things getting bad between you and her? is this the way she wanted it to happen?
If she admits that she has a problem like first questions, get ready to win her back because there is still some affection left for you, try to make her happy by doing things she likes. It is also possible she completely changes her mind for Divorce.
And if she admits she has a problem like other questions, brief her that it will be unjust of her to not try making the relationship better.
Advise her that it will be consuming emotionally and you both can end up getting hurt for the rest of your lives.
Should You Be Willing To Leave The House When Your Wife Wants a Divorce?
Men usually leave the house, when their wives want a Divorce. It is a huge mistake, which leads to the misconception that it is the responsibility of men to move or take their stuff out of the premises of the house, in which both couples were living.
Other then that women also do this, they make men leave the house where the family resides. So, they can have an alternative space.
Children are a priority to the court, in this specific case your wife’s attorney will portray it as you don’t want kids as they aren’t your priority. It can also be portrayed as leaving the family or specifically abandoning them.
If a couple has no children and the husband is the breadwinner. The court will make the husband pay for the charges and rent where the wife is residing.
Other than that, Many husbands pay their wives bills even when she files for a divorce because in those specific states “Status Quo Order” is implemented.
Also, if your salary or income is higher then your wife, you would have to pay her some money so she can sustain her usual lifestyle.
In the end, Make sure you don’t leave the house without attaining all the important documents and financial receipts because in the worst-case scenario if your wife turns out to be a clever criminal, she can easily make those papers vanish. Main Point, Stay at that house.